Saarburg was rocked yesterday by several loud explosions on the Cunohof, just in front of the Bella Vista restaurant. It was initially not clear what caused this, but upon sending our investigator up to take a cautious look on a nearby hill, we discovered the owner of a derelict house had decided enough was enough, and taken the house down in the only way known - with explosives.
In the first place, we sent our reporter up to the hill on the far side of town with a long-range lens camera, in case Saarburg had been involved in a terrorist situation. When men in full orange uniform were spotted, it made us a little suspicious. But the long-range lens also picked up the logo of a local company on their uniforms, and we all breathed a sigh of relief.
Local man Hartmut Landei said, "I was on my way to buy some haemorrhoid cream - I suffer terribly - when my ears were pierced by the sound of a loud explosion. I thought the British had come back, but if they had, I'd have heard about it on Twitter first."
It is thought the owner of the property wants to put some urban-style apartments on it, maybe even with those fancy ceiling lights and black-and-purple wallpaper, as he saw on holiday in Wuppertal in 2003.
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